It's a beautiful spring day here, and I hope the weather is treating you as nicely. Sometimes it's an odd feeling to experience a beautiful day when there is something tragic happening in your life. Even though I'm far removed from that time in my life, Spring was a confusing time for me in my parent's divorce. My dad left in the Spring, and the day he left was warm and beautiful. It just didn't seem right. I remember trying to explain that sentiment to some of my friends, and it went over their heads.
Here's the thing: People won't always understand.
Divorce has become unfortunately common. Every person either has been through the divorce of their parents, or have watched someone else go through it. When something like that becomes ordinary, people think it’s not a big deal. Or, as time passes, they forget.
But you don’t forget. Because it’s your life. You live with it every day. It affects everything about your life, and will shape who you become. Even though a lot of people get divorced, it still stinks for YOU. Hear me say that, friend. It stinks YOU have had to go through this. That YOU have to deal with it. That YOUR heart was broken. And unless people have been through a divorce themselves, they won’t understand.
So find people who do understand.
Talk to friends who have dealt with divorce. Do you feel comfortable sharing with your parents? Or, perhaps, another family member who is removed from the situation but is familiar with what has been going on? Consider chatting with a counselor at your school or at an office. Even though talking is uncomfortable, talking helps us heal. And it is most effective if the people we are talking to understand and can give us the support and encouragement we need.
Find people that understand, and understand that not everyone will.
I look forward to writing more to you next week. I hope you are finding hope and encouragement through our correspondences. Hang in there!
If you missed the last few posts, you can find Letters 1-4 here. To learn more about my story as a teenager dealing with my parent's divorce, you can read the Divorce Memoirs.