I have a confession to make.
But I need to get it out in the open, perhaps just in a therapeutic kind of way. Maybe by doing so, I will find camaraderie.
I have an irrational fear of stinkbugs.
It's true. I don't think I knew of the existence of stinkbugs, minus folklore, until about 2 years ago. We never had them in my house growing up, and there seems to have been a recent influx of their presence in Southeastern PA. 2 years ago, my in-laws had a pretty bad bout with them invading their house. I believe "invading" is too soft of a term.
They annexed the house.
When we spent time at their house, it was a common occurrence to be bothered by 10 or so of them throughout the evening. You'd be talking to someone, and out of the corner of your eye, you'd see a little black spot slowly moving along the wall. They'd fly around, not caring who they bothered. They are selfish, selfish beings.
My worst moments with them always happened while using the bathroom. As I was...indisposed (ahem)... and in a vulnerable state, one would sneak up on me and there was NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT. Paralyzed with fear, I maneuvered finishing business while keeping a close eye on the attacker. As you can imagine, this was extremely difficult, and required a lot of coordination.
True Story: One night, my mother-in-law heard my father-in-law yell from upstairs. She hurried up to find their room SWARMED with the nasty critters. Hundreds on the walls.
My skin is crawling just recounting the story.
If you are not from around here, you might be wondering what stinkbugs are. Go here for more info. I believe they are God's new plague on the earth. Forget locusts, baby. Stinkbugs are the new locust. They are ominous little creatures. You might think your home is safe from them. Then one day you hear it. You hear a little "clink." You wonder, "Is my sink dripping? Did I drop something?" You hear another little "clink." You scan the room you are in, only to find a little black bug is hitting your wall. "Is that all?" you wonder. Oh, poor unsuspecting homeowner. This is how it starts. There is never just one. They never come alone. Soon you find there are 2 in the room. The next day there are 3 in a different room. Shortly after, you find several of them crawling on the outside of your window screens, keeping close tabs on you. There they patrol, surveying the interior, scouting any entrance into the home and hatching plots for imminent take over.
Not long after, you are taken hostage in your own home by a bug the size of a dime.
In your ignorance, you might think squashing this bug will do the trick. You are sorely mistaken. As a rookie, you squash the sucker only to have a putrid smell fill your nostrils. (Hence the name STINKbug, HELLO). Over time, you take greater care to scoop the bug up in a napkin and throw it outside, or flush him down the toilet. But no strategy really does the trick except for time. You must wait them out, until the weather beckons them to a greater environment. (I will say, though, my father-in-law has found a treatment for your lawn that has worked wonders for them).
As a stay-at-homer, one is faced with these bugs unrelentingly. You cannot escape them. You are with them, sometimes, for 24 hours in a row. Swatting. Scooping. Flushing. Taking care not to squash. You must protect your offspring from them. Even as you try to sleep, you hear their battery of clinks against the wall, knowing they are intentionally attempting to find their way in the darkness to your face (or, God-forbid, your nostrils).
Perhaps this seems a bit over-the-top to you. I understand completely. I did say it was an irrational fear. And I admit I can be a bit paranoid when it comes to them (ask my mother-in-law, who patiently put up with me every time I jumped at the sight of one in her house, being sure to announce it's presence, and assuring its quick and permanent removal). I am even a bit embarrassed that I react so dramatically to them, and defeated that I have let these insects take such a hold of my life.
But, that is the nature of a confession. Even just typing it out loud gives me the confidence to face today, and giving me hope for a better (stinkbugless) tomorrow.
Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
What are your confessions?