I've been reallllly good during the first month and a half of 2010. If you would be so kind as to give me an advance on my Christmas Booty, I'd really appreciate one of these:
Had you been more thoughtful, you might have given me one for these Christmas. I was under the impression you had psychic powers of sorts, seeing as you "see us when we are sleeping" and "know when we are awake" and can discern if we've "been bad or good"? Maybe that just makes you a creeper. Either way, you obviously didn't forsee the disasterous weather that just wrecked the east coast. I find this extremely short-sighted on your part. This present would have been super handy this Winter. (I won't even begin to comment on what a slap in the face it is that, of the 6 houses on my block, all but 1 is equipped with a snowblower. I believe you can figure out what that might be).
Oh well. I forgive you.
I cannot, though, speak for my aching back.
My shipping address has not changed since December. I look forward to receiving your delivery.
PS - I'm losing my confidence in you, Mr. Claus. Give me reason to believe.